The Awesome Leader Blog
I write about anything that can help leaders gain a snappy, specific set of skills for managing up and managing teams.
Leadership Spring Cleaning: Start, Stop, Continue
You Have Ideas: Put Them Into Start, Stop Continue
Start, Stop, Continue is one of my favorite brainstorming and organizing techniques.
I use it often in executive coaching discussions, and over the past month, I’ve been using it to spring clean my mind and my business.
Let me explain.
I’m sure you’ve found yourself feeling like this at some time, probably recently.
You want to say something, you need to tackle something, you have something brewing in your mind, you have ideas for brainstorming yet somehow putting them on paper or in a Miro board or typing them feels too hard.
The problem seems too big to get ideas out. Because your ideas feel small. Or too simple. Or too few for, again, a big problem.
You have stuff to say, but you need categories or prompts to begin to organize and validate your thoughts.
This is where and how the model of Start, Stop, Continue comes to your rescue.
It’s as simple as it looks and sounds.
Ask...
The Prince, the Basketball Coach, a Wolf, & Leadership
I’m a bit angry, and I have some thoughts that you will find useful if 1) you are a leader and/or 2) you need to learn about what good leaders do (and what bad ones tend to never think about).
If you want the one-sentence version of this newsletter in one sentence, here it is: be clear on who you are, what you do, and then what you say.
The Prince
This story starts with someone who had a title, gave it up, and now is adopting the title that once belonged to the CIO: the Chief Information Officer.
Prince Harry (yes, that prince) is in the news again. He’s the new Chief Impact Officer for BetterUp. BetterUp is (their website says so) described like this: “The BetterUp experience brings together world-class coaching, AI technology, and behavioral science experts to deliver change at scale.”
Harry is a royal, a former military officer, a friend of Oprah’s, a husband, a dad, and, oh, yeah, a guy with Spotify and Netflix deals.
...
You're Bad at Conversations
It's the truth. We (you, me, humans) aren't great at talking.
Here's why.
Most of us get a failing grade at conversations because we:
- Wait too long
- Don’t prepare what to say
- Fail to get in the mood (aka prepare ourselves emotionally)
- Approach it from what we want vs. what is the common and necessary end result
- Say something and then assume the conversation is over
#5 is my favorite one to tackle with clients. They often want to break down what they are “going to tell” others.
- “I’m going to tell them they can’t do that.”
- “I’m going to tell them that was disappointing.”
- “I’m going to tell them how angry I am.”
Here’s a peek into how that plays out in a coaching conversation:
Client: "I'm going to tell [insert most anything]."
Leila: “Cool. You go and . . . tell them. And then what?”
C-level person/Founder/VP/leader: “What do you mean ‘and then what’...
Awkward Days
You’re walking around your neighborhood—pre-pandemic or even these days—and another person is walking towards you. You smile, say hi, or nod to that other person—as they come close enough to you to see, hear, or observe your gesture.
And the other person does . . . nothing.
They don’t smile back. They don’t speak a greeting. They don’t look at you.
They just keep walking.
It’s as if you’re not even there.
Awkward. (And there are many other, less generous words to describe this.)
I really don't like this behavior. I'm tempted to say, "I hate it."
Yes, "hate" is a strong word to choose, yet choosing to NOT mirror my greeting or smile back to me (or to anyone else—it can't be just me) is puzzling.
Yes, this person could be having a terrible day. Yes, this person could have just heard very sad or upsetting news. Yes, this person simply could not have seen or heard my...
Building Trust: WFH During 2021
Most of us agree that building trust is essential at all levels of our careers.
And most of us don’t give much thought to how to go about building trust. We assume that people will see our work, see that we’re good at it, and then start to trust us. Bingo. Trust built!
That's far from how it works.
Building trust doesn’t have to be complicated, and it’s something you need to be aware of and be actively working to make happen. Since most of us are continuing to work from home, it’s even more important to ensure your employees know that you’re there still for them and that they can still rely on you.
During 2020 it was easy to think, “We just need to get through this year.” As a result, you might have put off some necessary and hard work around building trust with your team.
I get it! It was difficult for me to wrap my head around the fact that how we had to work in 2020 was the way we would be working in 2021.
I...
Got Bad Managers?
I can’t see the raised hands, but I know they are there.
Some of you are holding them up high. You shot those hands up as soon as you read my prompt. "Yes!" is what you’re saying aloud. "Yes! I know a bad manager!"
Some of you have those hands up, yet you’re sheepishly raising them. I’m guessing you’re at your "desk"--the kitchen, living room, or family room table--and you are cautiously raising your hand, wondering if anyone else can see you admitting to the truth: you know bad managers. You’re thinking, "Oh, no, don’t remind me about that. Ugh, yes, we have bad managers. I know bad managers."
I can’t see you and your raised hands, but here’s the deal:
Other people see the bad managers.
They feel the burden of working with bad managers.
They feel the frustration, anger, and sadness of working for bad managers.
Poor leaders. Difficult leaders. Bad leaders. Incompetent leaders. Call them what...
"Get" to Do vs. "Got" to Do
Your Language is Probably Making Your Life Difficult
"Got to do" vs. "get to do". That's what I'm talking about today.
This is an easy and fast tip to help you frame almost all of the work you do: in the "office" and at home.
Are you describing your work as "got to" or "get to"?
In other words, are you saying, "I gotta do that"/"I have to do that" or "I get to do that"?
There is a BIG difference between the two.
I first came across this concept in 2006 when I read Vance and Carol Ann Caesar's book, The High Achiever's Guide to Happiness.
This book is amazing. Every leader should read it. I once participated in a weekend retreat led by Vance, and he is a powerful speaker and thinker. This book is always the first one I recommend to my 1:1 executive coaching clients.
In the book, Vance shares a memory of how, when he was a teenager, a high school coach clued him into the difference between "get to" and "got to."
Is it an obligation? Or is it something you...
You Made it Through 2020--Here's Your Ribbon
You Participated in 2020. Congratulations.
So, it's Friday, December 18, and the best thing I can say to all of you today is:
- Thanks for being here. For reading what I write and choosing to learn to be a better leader, and
- I'm happy to award this "Participated" ribbon to you!
I've had this ribbon around my office for a few years. I got it the same day I bought the demerit badge for whining (see below and BTW you can buy these badges here. I think I have earned the "caffeine addict", "chocoholic", "martini", "pizza", "I survived", and "overloaded" badges this year--perhaps several more).
This ribbon is a marker you can use to recognize the confusion, agony, waiting, refreshing your phone, voting, masking up, arguing, homeschooling, washing hands, ordering online, Zoom calls, and sanitizing you did this year. Congratulations!
You made it through 2020.
I really hope your 2020 was more than just making it, yet if you just made it through, that's fine. You were here. You...
No Lazy Leaders, No Team Building, and Less Weird Small Talk
The Year is Almost Over. It's Easy to Be Lazy as a Leader.
I find it very tempting to look at the date--December 3--and just wish January 1, 2021 were here. Wish that this year was over. Refund, please. Or, do-over, please.
In 2021 we will still be wearing masks.
In 2021 there will still be a pandemic.
In 2021 there will still be uncertainty for many people: job, home, food, paycheck, money, safety, health, you name it . . .
In 2021 there will be still a lot of the same, and so, it's tempting to sit back and let 2021 arrive.
I think that's lazy. I think that's a lazy move for all leaders.
So, I invite you to join me for a webinar on December 9. An anti-lazy leader webinar.
On December 9 at 9 am PT/12 pm ET/5 pm GMT, join me for a webinar titled, Plan Your 2021 Leadership (and Have Fun & Stay Sane at the Same Time).
Here are details:
- You'll need a leadership planner, and I have you covered. Download my...
It's Almost Over (This Year, I Mean ;) )
First, The Beauty of an Honest Conversation & Why I'm Not the Jacka** Whisperer
I love the truth. I'm a little obsessed with it. And I think you should be, too.
I love honesty. And I love to share my thoughts . . . and yesterday, someone yelled at me about it. She was really angry I speaking the truth.
I wasn't always like this. I spent most of my school life (little kid through graduate school) allowing others to speak unless I was told I needed to talk or that I would be rewarded (better grade, more points, etc.) if I started speaking. And, then, honestly (ahh, I can't even keep the word out of this paragraph!), I only shared what others wanted to hear.
As an executive coach, I often share what people say they want to hear: the truth.
They say, "Just tell me" or "I'm ready" or "What do you think?" and I start...
Stay connected with news and updates!
Awesome Leader Online Training Program
Lead with grace and grit . . . and make it look easy.
We help leaders learn what to do and when to do it so they can handle anything.
