The Awesome Leader Blog

I write about anything that can help leaders gain a snappy, specific set of skills for managing up and managing teams.

"Get" to Do vs. "Got" to Do

Your Language is Probably Making Your Life Difficult

Happy New Year, everyone. 

"Got to do" vs. "get to do". That's what I'm talking about today.

This is an easy and fast tip to help you frame almost all of the work you do: in the "office" and at home.

Are you describing your work as "got to" or "get to"?

In other words, are you saying, "I gotta do that"/"I have to do that" or "I get to do that"?

There is a BIG difference between the two.

I first came across this concept in 2006 when I read Vance and Carol Ann Caesar's book, The High Achiever's Guide to Happiness.

This book is amazing. Every leader should read it. I once participated in a weekend retreat led by Vance, and he is a powerful speaker and thinker. This book is always the first one I recommend to my 1:1 executive coaching clients.

In the book, Vance shares a memory of how, when he was a teenager, a high school coach clued him into the difference between "get to" and "got to."

Is it an obligation? Or is it something you...
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It's Not About Perfection

Anyone remember this game?

A few years ago, my mom was going through my "things" (what she calls stuff in my childhood bedroom), and she brought me a bag of junk (what I call that stuff). And in that bag was the game of Perfection.

I have it in my office now. I just played it earlier this week (literally and symbolically).

I reminded myself how much I despise the game yet secretly love the name and love the ambition of perfection.

The race against the clicking clock to get all those pieces in the right places before the whole thing goes "POP!"

Many days I feel as if I’m going to pop.

Is it because I’m racing towards perfection? I don’t so think, but I do know I'm trying to put lots of pieces into tiny holes all over, and I feel rushed and confused.

The holes are (now) smaller, they look and feel strange, and they are harder to find. And the time is loud, clicking by. It's like a nightmare inspired by the game of Perfection . . . POP.

And some days, I do it. I pop.

Alone in...

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The Mask, The Terminator, and the 98 Yr Old Leader

 

Focused on Wednesday. Lost on Thursday. And each afternoon feels like a Friday. 

It's hard to stay focused these days, right? I know it's not just me, as many of my coaching clients are saying the same. And my neighbors and my friends.

You might feel productive one day and then lost the next. The commute is gone, so, wow, you're "home" early, and it's nice and warm outside (for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere). Is it a Friday? Maybe. Not sure. 

For this newsletter, I have a collection of links and ideas as well as updates on what I've been up to with Awesome Leader projects. They come together in a casual Friday-like manner. 

My thoughts captured by Others: Mentions in the The Economist (Managing Up) and Lattice (Professional Development)

"Sycophants are suffering during this pandemic."

I've read and loved The Economist for years, and my thoughts are now in it.  Sycophants are out of luck. Managing up = building and maintaining relationships...

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Managing Negativity: What to Do with the Complainer

behavior eq managing Sep 17, 2019

As a manager, a huge part of your job is to work with all kinds of people, with all kinds of temperaments. An amazing manager is able to recognize and use the strengths of each employee, finding a way to make the varying skills and personalities that make up their team work in harmony. It feels right. It sounds right. Yet just like the wrong note played in a song can create dissonance, so too can having to manage an employee who seems to only bring negativity to work with them. 

I’m sure you’ve encountered this type of person in your time as a manager: the naysayer, the person who shoots down every idea, the one who pushes back on everything asked of them. They complain about most everything and everyone. 

This kind of behavior is much more than annoying. It’s obstructive and depleting to everyone who shares the environment. And maybe even more: it can be infectious, like the flu running wild through each team. It lowers the morale of an entire team and...

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Say One Thing and Do Another: Dealing with Passive-Aggressive Employees

behavior eq workplace Sep 10, 2019

Have you seen this behavior in your workplace recently? 

  • The silent treatment. Someone hiding resentment by saying nothing about their true feelings or emitting just a few snide comments.
  • A coworker who says one thing, such as, “I’ll take care of that” but in reality does something completely different, like ignore your request
  • Someone sullenly completing tasks she has agreed to execute but complaining the whole time. 

These are perfect examples of passive-aggressive behavior. 

It’s maddening, underhanded, sneaky behavior.

I don’t think passive-aggressive behavior has a place in any work environment, but I see it all the time. We’ve all grown up, supposedly, but we hang on to childish behaviors we honed on the playground. 

Why do people act this way? 

The majority of people who exhibit passive-aggressive behavior have a negative reaction to something--a topic, a task, a person, something. They don’t like something....

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