The Awesome Leader Blog
I write about anything that can help leaders gain a snappy, specific set of skills for managing up and managing teams.
The Prince, the Basketball Coach, a Wolf, & Leadership
I’m a bit angry, and I have some thoughts that you will find useful if 1) you are a leader and/or 2) you need to learn about what good leaders do (and what bad ones tend to never think about).
If you want the one-sentence version of this newsletter in one sentence, here it is: be clear on who you are, what you do, and then what you say.
The Prince
This story starts with someone who had a title, gave it up, and now is adopting the title that once belonged to the CIO: the Chief Information Officer.
Prince Harry (yes, that prince) is in the news again. He’s the new Chief Impact Officer for BetterUp. BetterUp is (their website says so) described like this: “The BetterUp experience brings together world-class coaching, AI technology, and behavioral science experts to deliver change at scale.”
Harry is a royal, a former military officer, a friend of Oprah’s, a husband, a dad, and, oh, yeah, a guy with Spotify and Netflix deals.
...
You're Bad at Conversations
It's the truth. We (you, me, humans) aren't great at talking.
Here's why.
Most of us get a failing grade at conversations because we:
- Wait too long
- Don’t prepare what to say
- Fail to get in the mood (aka prepare ourselves emotionally)
- Approach it from what we want vs. what is the common and necessary end result
- Say something and then assume the conversation is over
#5 is my favorite one to tackle with clients. They often want to break down what they are “going to tell” others.
- “I’m going to tell them they can’t do that.”
- “I’m going to tell them that was disappointing.”
- “I’m going to tell them how angry I am.”
Here’s a peek into how that plays out in a coaching conversation:
Client: "I'm going to tell [insert most anything]."
Leila: “Cool. You go and . . . tell them. And then what?”
C-level person/Founder/VP/leader: “What do you mean ‘and then what’...
Awkward Days
You’re walking around your neighborhood—pre-pandemic or even these days—and another person is walking towards you. You smile, say hi, or nod to that other person—as they come close enough to you to see, hear, or observe your gesture.
And the other person does . . . nothing.
They don’t smile back. They don’t speak a greeting. They don’t look at you.
They just keep walking.
It’s as if you’re not even there.
Awkward. (And there are many other, less generous words to describe this.)
I really don't like this behavior. I'm tempted to say, "I hate it."
Yes, "hate" is a strong word to choose, yet choosing to NOT mirror my greeting or smile back to me (or to anyone else—it can't be just me) is puzzling.
Yes, this person could be having a terrible day. Yes, this person could have just heard very sad or upsetting news. Yes, this person simply could not have seen or heard my...
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